As I’m writing this it’s February and my birthday month. The first couple months of the “new” year has already come and gone! I still wanted to get a Recap of 2018 done though. It’s always nice to look back- at the good and the bad and review your year as you simultaneously plan the new one. Of course if you look through most people’s Instagram’s etc, it’s always helpful to remember that it’s usually a highlight reel vs. the full picture. And while there was some highlights for me in 2018 (which I’ll be sharing those pictures below), TBH I was not sorry to see the year go (to put it nicely). 2018 was a tough year where it felt like I had more ‘losses’ than ‘wins’ and not much movement forward (maybe even a few steps back).
To start the year, my roommate unexpectedly moved out leaving me in a bind. Then a month later, a few days after my birthday, the basement suite I was renting flooded from a water main break in the back alley behind the house. I had to pack AND move my entire house, while sick, in the span of about 3 1/2 days. It was beyond stressful and I wasn’t sure it was going to get done or how I was going to get through. But after a couple all nighters, LOTS of help from friends & family (I literally couldn’t have done it without them!) and many, many prayers and tears it got done! I ended up moving a majority of my stuff into a storage pod and what didn’t fit got moved out to my Moms. I also stayed out at my Moms for about 6 1/2 months, which was nice to be out in the country but also frustrating because it was far to drive into the city everyday and I was also wanting to be back in my own space. I also found my focus lacking not being able to drive to my office regularly and therefore business slowed down for me. Definitely not where I wanted to be in terms of owning a home and building my business!
What else…still single! 😦 lol. I met lots of people playing slopitch this summer but no one special. Well, there was one guy who I liked and we would hang out regularly for a few months. I was falling for him but it was obvious that he didn’t feel the same way which was heartbreaking, was disappointing, really sucked. Unrequited love…
“The worst thing: to give yourself away in exchange for not enough love.”
I do have profiles on a couple dating apps but I’m not super active on them as I’m really not a fan of dating apps. Although every time I hear of someone meeting their partner or spouse on a dating app it does give me a little hope, lol. We’ll see what 2019 brings in this department! TBD…
I moved back to the city at the end of August, staying with a family member temporarily, which was nice to not have the long drives anymore, but still not in my own place. Business was still slow so I decided to look for a office job to supplement my income but that proved a lot more difficult then I expected when I found out there were so many others also job hunting! (Thank you Alberta economy!) What I thought would be a couple week search stretched on and on, into the fall and winter, with hundreds of resumes being sent out with very little response in return.
Only a week before Christmas my beautiful ragdoll cat, Anastasia, passed away. : ( She was about 14yrs old and I’ve had her since she was about 6mths. My Mom had texted and said she wasn’t doing well, and had taken a turn for the worse quite quickly. I went out to see her and was able to cuddle her one last time before she passed away peacefully in her bed. My Mom said she thought she was waiting to see me one last time. Silver lining of staying out at my Moms this year is that Anastasia got to spend her last year venturing outside and enjoying the fresh air and sunshine whenever possible, which she loved.
Christmas and New Years, which as a single person is slowly turning from a favourite time of year to…well not my favourite time of year. Bittersweet. It’s a combination of enjoying the season but also wishing I had someone special/my own family to enjoy it with! This Christmas and New Years was spent at my Moms, watching Christmas movies, snacking and puzzles! A couple walks to get outside and enjoy the winter wonderland but otherwise pretty low key.
I know I glazed over the valleys and some of what I want to leave behind in 2018 (mostly because I don’t see any point in diving in too deep in the negative) but there was lots of frustration and hope deferred feelings from last year. Dreams that I’ve had for many years that I still feel like I’m hoping for and wondering “When?!” I know I’m not the only one feeling this way, and my heart goes out to anyone else that has a dream placed in their heart that seems to be taking an incredibly long time to come to fruition. I know there’s lessons to be learned from 2018, through the challenges and valleys I found myself in. I don’t completely see them yet. Some lessons/revelations might not fully unfold for many years. Looking back I might be able to say, 2018 was the year I learned…, or changed…,or pivotal because… But in the meantime, I’m excited and hopeful for a new year and new opportunities to go after my dreams and goals!
And as for 2018 —> ‘Thank You, Next”
vintagebettyelaine 
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